Before you gasp with judgemental eyes or nod in agreement, hear me out..
I am a proud feminist.I have always been.So why do I think it’s a mere ideology?Why do I think feminism can’t be a reality?Why can’t we break gender stereotypes?The answer is simple.we are scared.we are all scared.Scared for ourselves,scared for our daughters,scared for all our loved ones.Because no matter how strong we make our girls there will always be ten stronger men to overpower her,to exploit her.Don’t get me wrong.Yes I want women to have more freedom.Yes I want them to break all gender roles and rule the world.But at the cost of what?Her life?Yes I want her to freely go out partying at night wearing whatever she likes or to work her ass off for that dream job.But at the risk of what?Five testosterone overcharged men sexually exploiting and murdering her in a running bus.Who can we blame then?Can candle marches bring her back?Can screaming for justice bring her back?Ask any parent.And this is exactly what you will get to hear.No they are not misogynist.They are not sexist.They are just parents doing what they are ought to.Helpless but caring.Feminism is a mere ideology.This led me to rethink the whole concept of feminism and I found out that we have got it all wrong.Even the ones who consider themselves to be true blooded feminists are wrong in some way or another.Don’t believe me?Be honest to yourselves and answer these-
- You,a man, work eight hours a day and get 50K( let’s suppose).I, a woman, for the same work get paid half.And if I do reach above you in any way,it will always be blamed on my character and my ability to sleep with the boss that earned me the promotion.And it is not just the men who will be accusing me of being a cheap characterless woman.As long as women slut shaming another women is common,do we even deserve to be called feminists?
- I dress like a girl.And I totally adore you if you dress like the men(only if you like it).We are both feminists.So is the girl in a hijab.If showing my legs has to be my decision shouldn’t covering them up be my decision too? Do I become any less feminist either way?Why should I be labelled a totta if I wear a mini skirt and a behenji if I wear a salwar kurti?If you still think baring your body is the right way to show women empowerment,are you even a feminist?
- I am a fashion blogger and I am a feminist.So are you whether you are a pilot,a scientist,a teacher or whatever you want to be.You can be into science as much as I am into fashion and we can both be feminists.The most important part is that you are financially independent; because you never know what curve balls life is gonna throw at you.No matter how madly in love you are,never give up your job.Not everyone gets lucky in life.However if you believe a makeup artist is a woman's job and flying a fighter jet is a man's work,are you at all a feminist?
- I am a feminist and in love with a man.Why do you think I am a man repellar or a man hater because I believe in equal rights of men and women?If you are someone who found love in someone of the same gender,it is totally your choice.And no I don’t judge you.Your sexual orientation does not define feminism.And if you still think feminists are necessarily gay,do you even know what feminism is?
- You hate football but still pretend to watch it to prove you are ‘like the guys’.You chop off your hair to look ‘like a man’ but secretely admire my long locks.You love romantic comedy but pretend to be a fan of star wars to show you are ‘one of the boys’.Seriously?Can you even hear yourself? Since when has the phrase ‘like a girl’ become so insulting?And if we are ashamed of our feminity,are we even feminists in the first place?
See what I am talking about?We have got feminism all wrong.We have twisted its meaning in so many ways that we can’t even judge the right from the wrong.Hating pink has nothing to do with feminism.Screaming “girls are the best” has nothing to do with feminism.Feminism is not about thinking women are superior.Being ‘one of the guys’is not termed as women empowerment.Unless ofcourse if its your choice.If you really love football,go ahead girl.Scream at the top of your lungs. Accepting ourselves is more important.Knowing what we love is more important.
Feminism is a mere ideology and it will always be so.Because we are doing it wrong.We are just making our girls ‘so called’ feminists.We are only encouraging our women to be fierce.Whereas we also need to start it with our men.Unless every man on this earth is a feminist, we can never make it a reality.Unless every man understands the meaning of consent, no matter how strong we make our girls,they will be raped and molested.Unless every man understands that the length of a girl’s skirt is not the measurement of her character, we can never exercise our freedom to wear what we like.Unless every man understands that no matter if it is her homemaker wife or a equally hardworking female collegue, they deserve equal respect as he,we can never exercise the freedom of our choice.
Feminism is gender equality.Feminism is the belief that a man and a woman are both equals and scientifically speaking,it is impossible to exist without each other.Feminism is not just for the women.It is equally important for the men to be feminists.Because irrespective of our gender,our jobs,our clothes,and sexual orientation,we are all equal.Yes I agree we have come a long way.But we still have a long way ahead.Its time we start teaching ourselves and our kids the right way to feminism.
Untill next time.XOXO,